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When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. -Helen Keller

The signal to the satellite had gone out, and after it was restored, I couldn’t get the sound to come back on.

I tried everything I could think of, and finally called the company for help. The young man said gently, “I don’t want to offend you, but have you checked to see if the volume is turned up?”

My initial split-second response was to say, “Of course I have” until I realized that I hadn’t, and as I pushed the volume control up, magically the sound reappeared.

I couldn’t find my notebook that I had stored in my supply closet. I knew it was there, but even with extensive searching, I couldn’t find it. Finally, I described the notebook to Del and asked him to find it for me. Within seconds, he reached in and pulled it out.

I was looking for a tube of lotion that I knew I had purchased. I looked where I thought I had put it along with every other place I could think of, but I couldn’t find it.

Finally, I decided I must not have bought the tube after all, so purchased another. Putting it away in the place it belonged, I saw the other tube right beside it. Yes, it had been there all along, but the end of the box was a different color than I remembered so I didn’t see it.

Last spring I never put my rolling greenhouse out because I had to paint the deck first and that is where I always put it. However, it rained so often all spring; I didn’t get the deck painted until summer, too late for the greenhouse. Later I realized that the greenhouse could have gone many other places.

I make ice tea by putting 4 cups of water in a measuring cup, microwaving it, and then add tea bags. I didn’t make any for a few days because that measuring cup was dirty. Finally, it dawned on me that I could just make 2 cups for the day in the other measuring cup.

All these have one thing in common – perception – blind perception or a locked in paradigm of thinking and perceiving.

Just a few examples, but it happens every day, all day, in everything we do and expect.

Recognizing that perception is what determines what we experience in the world, it becomes crystal clear that it is always perception that we are shifting, not another person, or place, or thing.

What we perceive with our senses is only what we have first perceived and believed to be true.

We all make light of the beauty queen who answers, “World peace” when asked what she wants, but we do the same thing. We want world peace, bigger homes, more cash, and more love, so we look for ways to satisfy those desires.

If we can’t even find a tube of lotion that is already present, when the memory of what it looks like is faulty, or our state of mind is blocking the seeing of a notebook that is right in front of our face, then how do we expect to find these big things without shifting out of perceptions, behaviors, and habits?

It is obviously that we have to shift our perception out of what we think and perceive, and into a new paradigm in order to see what is already present.

There are two approaches to making this shift. One might work, but will only last a short time and in specific circumstances. The other always works and always lasts.

The approach that works and lasts is the one that sets thinking and perceiving in a strong scientific foundation. This foundation starts with only One presence, and that one is the intelligent Mind and we are Its thoughts.

This doesn’t make a lick of sense to the human mind.

But, it is not our human mind that knows and understands the Truth of our Being anyway. It’s the connection and knowing within that verifies to us that we are not our human mind, body, or life. And no matter what we call this One intelligent Mind, It is all-good, all-present, all-power, and all-knowing.

Beginning with this premise as our foundation, what appears as our human ability to perceive what is already present – expands.

If we choose the alternative path – short term, gotta make myself better, have some positive thinking, control this with my will, make it happen kind of perception – we are in for some good times, and some bad ones because we will have never left the human belief mind set where good and bad battle it out forever.

Within the foundation of divine perception, we are never looking for something, or a person or a situation we have to fix. Instead, we are dedicated to letting go of how we think it is, or want it is to be, and to allowing the Light of the One to shine as our lives.

This will reveal what is already present, and always practical.

While strolling through the garden early one evening I noticed a small, round, black object. Picking it up, I realized it was the lens cap to our camera. I carried it back into the house, where Del had just started looking for it.

This is a small, but perfect example that all we ever need is present before we ask. It’s one of those spiritual laws found within the foundation of only One Mind, and it is Love.

Therefore, although we are all looking for world peace, we will only find its permanent presence when we seek and act within the divine consciousness of Love.

And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear. Isa 65: 24

In a negotiation, psychologically, negotiators strive to alter the paradigm of the other negotiator. They attempt to do so for obvious reasons; they want the best deal they can get, and thus they attempt to shift the mental perception of the other negotiator. Sometimes, they’ll use the ploy of ‘disgust’ to do so.

To the degree one is more successful at doing so than the other, one comes out further in the negotiation.

The following are thoughts you can use to shift the mindset of the person with whom you negotiate.

1. Identify what’s important to the other negotiator.

You can accomplish this by asking, ‘what outcome are you seeking from this negotiation?’ Negotiation Tip: To be more subtle, you can ask, ‘what would you like to see occur today?’ You’ll receive feedback. Note to what degree you sense disgust. Then, as the negotiation progresses, see how far the other negotiator will go to achieve his stated outcome, and what he’s willing to concede to get it. This might be easier said than done, because he may ask for things that are unreasonable to see how much he can get. So, be careful to confirm what has been stated as being important, versus what you see in the form of the other negotiator’s actions. His actions will give you more insight than his words.

2. Read his body language and you read his mind.

Reading body language can be daunting. Some negotiators think, if someone has their arms crossed, they’re not open or receptive to an offer. Depending upon where you are in the negotiation process, that can be true or false. First, always establish the baseline of the other negotiator to determine how he uses his body in a ‘normal’ situation (whatever normal is for him). Then, compare what is his normal body language usage to the changes he emits when he’s disgusted, calm, contemplative, and/or reflective. As an example, if he’s jovial throughout the negotiation and makes gestures with his hands up and open, take note when his hands are turned down and he’s pulling his gestures towards himself. The latter could denote a shift in his paradigm. Depending on how such might influence the negotiation, you should take an appropriate action to align his mind with your thoughts.

3. Use Microexpressions to identify real thoughts and emotions.

Microexpressions are mental displays of emotion that are unfiltered by the mind before they’re displayed. They last for no more than one second. Since the mind does not filter the action before it’s committed, the display you see is real. There are 7 micro expressions that are generic to everyone on the planet. They are, fear, anger, disgust, surprise, contempt, happiness, and sadness. I’ll use ‘disgust’ as an example of how you might use a micro expression to validate a body language gesture you observe. When disgust is exhibited, the exhibitor will appear to have his upper lip raised towards his nose as though something doesn’t smell right. Through that action, he’s telling you that your offer doesn’t appeal to him. Take note that he may display the same signs when making an offer to you, if he doesn’t think you’ll accept it, or know it’s not a good offer. In such case, he may be testing you to see how you’ll react to his offer.

There are many psychological insights one can glean and use, to alter the other negotiator’s paradigm, during a negotiation. The better adept you become at using the above suggestions, the greater your negotiation outcomes will be… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

What is data? How does it impact a negotiation. How do you gather it? Data is the meat of preparation. Negotiators should take the time to fully prepare. If they do this, often as not they will be better prepared than the other person. As a result, they will likely control the conversation and its outcome.

Data is any information available about a given topic, person, commodity or situation. Having the discipline to gather, assess and use this data makes the difference between negotiating and begging. Preparedness is the key to a successful negotiation.

Data is readily available in the information age. Computers, data bases, the Internet. newspaper archives, public libraries, even company historians all have a wealth of raw data. Knowing where to look and how to search are excellent tools to develop to help you be a better negotiator.

Computers and the Internet are great tools when searching for data that is in the public domain. This type of information may be available at the library, newspaper archives, from a title company, or off the Internet. It is difficult to refute hard data. That is why it is worth the extra effort to gather. It is also important to know what facts can be used against you. When you conduct fact-based research, be alert for related information that may be used against you. The search for data should be broad-based and inclusive. Being properly prepared takes away the element of surprise at the moment of confrontation.

When you are investigating the person or persons you will be confronting seek the counsel of others who know the person, study previous negotiation results with the person or his company, casually discuss the person with his peers. Never miss an opportunity to discuss him with his secretary or assistant. Often a little casual conversation will reveal reams of valuable information about how his day is going, his travel schedule and even pressures around the office. In days of old secretaries were guardians at the door. Today the roles have changed and that former loyalty may be lacking.

With a little sleuthing, there are usually some valuable insights available. As with data-based research, cast a wide net and collect as much information about the other person’s interests, nature, and reputation as possible. You can use this collective pool of data to talk about his hobbies and interests to build a relationship or use it to be on the alert for his known stylistic tactics.